diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt
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--- /dev/null
+++ b/LICENSE.txt
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+the fuwwy amogus wicense
+
+if you are a fuwwy, or identify as a sussy amogus impasta baka, you are permitted to copy, sell and use this work in any manner you choose without need to include any attwibution you do not see fit. 
+you are asked as a couwtesy to wetain this wicense in any derivatives but you are not wequiwed.
+if do not belong the abovementioned categowy, go away.
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
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+# awwoc
+
+The most uwu awwocator ewer.
+
+## awwoc is bwazing fast
+
+here's how awwoc compawes to the default wust awwocator, in a very accuwate benchmawk:
+1. allocate 10000 10 byte allocations, writing `69` to each byte.
+2. deallocate all of them
+
+| awwocator    | time      |
+|--------------|-----------|
+| wust default | 2.65 ms   |
+| awwoc        | 763.73 ms |
+
+as you can see, awwoc handily beats the wust awwocator.
+
+## using awwoc
+
+add
+```rs
+#[global_allocator]
+static AWWOC: awwoc::Awwoc = awwoc::Awwoc;
+```
+to your wust pwogwam.
+
+## unwuckily
+
+awwoc only works on GNU/Winyux, or other posix opewating system kewnels.
+it also works on every platform using miwi!