diff --git a/nix/apps/uptime/default.nix b/nix/apps/uptime/default.nix
deleted file mode 100644
index 7552789..0000000
--- a/nix/apps/uptime/default.nix
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,42 +0,0 @@
-{ lib, config, ... }: {
-  virtualisation.oci-containers.containers.uptime = {
-    /*
-      uptime:
-      container_name: uptime
-      image: "docker.noratrieb.dev/uptime:50d15bc4"
-      restart: always
-      volumes:
-        - "/apps/uptime:/app/config"
-      environment:
-        UPTIME_CONFIG_PATH: /app/config/uptime.json
-      ports:
-        - "5010:3000"
-    */
-
-    image = "docker.noratrieb.dev/uptime:50d15bc4";
-    volumes = [
-      "${./uptime.json}:/uptime.json"
-      "/var/lib/uptime:/data"
-    ];
-    environment = {
-      UPTIME_CONFIG_PATH = "/uptime.json";
-    };
-    ports = [ "127.0.0.1:5010:3000" ];
-    login = {
-      registry = "docker.noratrieb.dev";
-      username = "nils";
-      passwordFile = config.age.secrets.docker_registry_password.path;
-    };
-  };
-
-  services.custom-backup.jobs = [
-    {
-      app = "uptime";
-      file = "/var/lib/uptime/uptime.db";
-    }
-  ];
-
-  system.activationScripts.makeUptimeDir = lib.stringAfter [ "var" ] ''
-    mkdir -p /var/lib/uptime/
-  '';
-}
diff --git a/nix/apps/uptime/uptime.json b/nix/apps/uptime/uptime.json
deleted file mode 100644
index 35da4ff..0000000
--- a/nix/apps/uptime/uptime.json
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,5 +0,0 @@
-{
-  "interval_seconds": 30,
-  "db_url": "/data/uptime.db",
-  "websites": []
-}
diff --git a/nix/deploy/smoke-tests.sh b/nix/deploy/smoke-tests.sh
index 9cfe000..84107f9 100755
--- a/nix/deploy/smoke-tests.sh
+++ b/nix/deploy/smoke-tests.sh
@@ -41,7 +41,6 @@ http_hosts=(
     grafana.noratrieb.dev
     hugo-chat.noratrieb.dev
     api.hugo-chat.noratrieb.dev/api/v2/rooms
-    uptime.noratrieb.dev
     www.noratrieb.dev
 
     # legacy:
diff --git a/nix/hive.nix b/nix/hive.nix
index 04cc30b..1d61ebc 100644
--- a/nix/hive.nix
+++ b/nix/hive.nix
@@ -182,7 +182,6 @@
       # apps
       ./apps/widetom
       ./apps/hugo-chat
-      ./apps/uptime
       ./apps/killua
       ./apps/forgejo
       ./apps/openolat
diff --git a/nix/modules/caddy/vps1.Caddyfile b/nix/modules/caddy/vps1.Caddyfile
index 691b7bd..4b3c58f 100644
--- a/nix/modules/caddy/vps1.Caddyfile
+++ b/nix/modules/caddy/vps1.Caddyfile
@@ -3,12 +3,6 @@ www.noratrieb.dev {
 	redir https://noratrieb.dev{uri} permanent
 }
 
-uptime.noratrieb.dev {
-	log
-	encode zstd gzip
-	reverse_proxy * localhost:5010
-}
-
 hugo-chat.noratrieb.dev {
 	log
 	encode zstd gzip
@@ -22,11 +16,6 @@ api.hugo-chat.noratrieb.dev {
 	reverse_proxy * localhost:5001
 }
 
-bisect-rustc.noratrieb.dev {
-	log
-	redir https://github.com/Noratrieb/cargo-bisect-rustc-service?tab=readme-ov-file#cargo-bisect-rustc-service
-}
-
 docker.noratrieb.dev {
 	log
 	reverse_proxy * localhost:5000
@@ -60,7 +49,17 @@ upload.files.noratrieb.dev {
 }
 
 ################################################################
-# redirects
+# retired
+
+bisect-rustc.noratrieb.dev {
+	log
+	redir https://github.com/Noratrieb/cargo-bisect-rustc-service?tab=readme-ov-file#cargo-bisect-rustc-service
+}
+
+uptime.noratrieb.dev {
+	log
+	redir https://github.com/Noratrieb/uptime?tab=readme-ov-file#uptime
+}
 
 blog.noratrieb.dev {
 	log